I think my favorite moment at our New Year’s Eve event
(well, besides witnessing normally reserved kids get down with “Just Dance” on Wii) was when we handed
each kid $9 and said, “You have a decision to make.” And the next five minutes
was filled with something we don’t see often enough: kids having to think
meaningfully about how to allocate scarce resources among unlimited needs.
And it was my favorite because kids learned powerful lessons
in doing that, both about what they could do, and also what they couldn’t do.
They learned this by having to exercise choices, something that is often sorely
lacking in kids’ lives. We have so sanitized their world in the name of being a
“child-friendly” society that I wonder if we’ve stunted their development by
not making them – or allowing them to – do things for themselves.
The exercise in making donations was part of “A New Year for
a New World” where we told the kids that 25% of their $40 registration would be
given away. We gathered the kids and showed them four short videos about
organizations and people they could give their money to, and then released them
to do it. And when you’re 10, deciding whether the group that drills clean
water wells should get 3 of your dollars or 4 of your dollars is an important
decision.
Making decisions is a developmental imperative. I think it’s
important for spiritual development as well. Here’s why. In the evangelical
church especially, we are decision-focused: we want kids to make a decision to
follow Jesus. Or, as an astute 15-year-old once said to me, “I think becoming a
Christian is one decision for Jesus; but living as a Christian is like a
million decisions for Jesus.” But here’s the key: how can we expect kids to
make (the one decision) and stick with a decision for
Jesus (the million decisions) if they are unaccustomed to and unpracticed at making decisions in every
other area of their lives?
While we don’t deny that God works in the hearts of
those who receive him, Christians should not be so naïve as to believe that
continued obedience is simply a given. Look how the disciples struggled. Look
at how often Paul had to exhort the new believers to “Stand firm” and to obey.
People – kids included – will either make strong decisions on their own, or
they will remain at the mercy of other people to make decisions for them. And
in my experience, it’s the kids who can’t make decisions (because they’re
over-managed and aren’t allowed to) who are most susceptible to peer pressure
as teenagers. And why not? They’ve always looked to someone else to define
their identity, to tell them what to do, to tell them what to value and what to
think.
Strong decision making grows out of the opportunity to make
meaningful decisions. Give kids choices – in every sphere of life. If they get
good at making decisions where the outcome doesn’t matter much, chances are
that they’ll also make decisions when the outcome matters a lot.
And you might be wondering, “What about the other dollar?”
They gave away nine that night, but the tenth dollar went home with them. We
simply told them they could use it to spend it on themselves, or to give it
away, or to use it to make more money. The decision was up to them. And that’s
a good thing.
