Why I Really Hope to See You this Wednesday

Wednesday night begins year #2 of something special at our church. We're certainly not the first ones to do a family night, but the event known as "The Harbor" has taken on a life and character all its own. In a nutshell, it's a night where we try to pull together our very best resources - classes & support groups for parents, relationally rich and interesting activities for kids (not just "school"), and an atmosphere that feels like, "We're all in this together." That's The Harbor. And you can be a part of this.

No, you don't need "one more thing." None of us do. But that's why we've designed The Harbor as we have. We meet for six weeks in the fall, six weeks in the winter, and six weeks in the spring. Six weeks of our best - and then time for you to digest and put into practice what you've learned and - hopefully - to keep new friendships going with other families you've met.

After all, the real adventure is out on the seas; the harbor is just where boats go when the captain needs a safe place to rest. That's what we've designed The Harbor to be. You can eat dinner with us, you can drop off your kids, and you can be real about the parenting struggles you have trying to raise 21st-century kids.

Here are seven quick reasons I think you should check out The Harbor (and it's not too late):

1. It helps to make a big church small. In 4th-6th grade, we have kids from 67+ public, private, and home schools. Simply put, your kids need to make some friends at church, because it's not likely that most of their friends from school are among their peers at church. And when kids come to church all alone, they end up feeling all alone until they get to know other kids. Camps help with this. So do small groups. The Harbor is one more way to achieve some familiarity, as kids work and play side-by-side.

2. Our kid program people are really fired up. After last year (our first in this format), we discovered some things that worked well, and others that needed fixing. One thing we found about the 4th-6th grade program was that it wasn't very "sticky". The content was good and kids enjoyed it, but there wasn't much compelling them to come back the next week. This year's is designed to have more of a team feel to it - again, making big church small.

3. KidUnique. It's the class I'm sitting in on, and this program looks great. Maybe you have a kid who's so different from you, or one you don't know how to motivate. Or, maybe they're just like you - and that can be part of the problem, because it's hard to see where you end and they begin. KidUnique is a method and a process for discovering a kid's unique design so that you can support and encourage them as they grow. And it's being taught by two of my favorite people, Julie and Charlie Capps, whom I've known since I started at the church eight years ago. Julie has been in touch with the creator of the program and he's endorsed her plans for the class. I think this one is going to be very popular.

4. Single & Parenting. Last year, we finally got a group for single moms off the ground. Sorely needed, and Susan Kolonay proved to be just the right leader. This year, we're able (because of a new curriculum) to offer a group for dads, too. Brett Bieber will lead that one. It's fun to see both of them so motivated to bring the ministry to single parents.

5. Captivating. Linda Stewart brought this study to my attention last spring, while she and her husband were leading another class. It's a John Eldredge book (Wild at Heart) co-written with his wife Staci. Similar to Wild at Heart, it's a book about discovering true identity. It's for women only, but the added benefit is that whatever moms learn can be passed on to their daughters.

6. Raising a Modern-Day Knight. We're forming a nucleus of really dedicated dads who are intentional about raising their sons. This summer I got invited to an 18th birthday dinner for a kid whose dad did the program about six years ago. The dad has been following it ever since, with rites of passage at 13, 16, and now 18. How cool to see the steps he'd taken, and how healthy their relationship is. RMDK's influence stretches well beyond the six weeks of the class; as such, it's well-worth the $30 investment.

7. Marriage from the Heart workshop. Jeff Reinke from Marriage & Family has put together a team of all-stars who will be presenting on different weeks about connecting on a heart level. Forgiveness, conflict, communication, and understanding your spouse's heart are just some of the topics to be covered. The facilitators can all share from their personal experiences how they've made it work.

Finally, let me encourage you that there's a lot at The Harbor that's of general interest. It isn't necessarily a "church program" - The Harbor is for anybody. We want to be good neighbors, and one of the ways we do that is by sharing the wealth of resources that we have. So pull in to The Harbor - there's a place for you here, too.

What I'm Reading - New stuff about familiar subjects

Once again this week, I figured why put my words down when I could just share with you some of what I've been reading? So here they are:



FYI (if you're a teenage girl) - an open letter from a mom who's taking proactive steps to shield her sons from provocative social media pics.

The six ways we talk about a teenage girl's age - the subtitle of this piece tells it all: "The idea that a teen can be 'older than her chronological age' puts young girls in danger."

It's been observed by a few of us on staff that every preteen/teenage issue these days is tied to sex, technology, or some combination of the two. In response, we are working on a calendar of public events for this school year that will talk about those issues, from various angles. I'd like to think if we do it once, and do it well, we won't have to do it again. Sadly, that's a fantasy. The tech is here to stay; the sex has been with us since the dawn of time, but we do seem to be living in an age that celebrates experimentation and indulgence, regardless of the long-term cost.

There are signs of hope: More and more articles (like the one above about language that justifies and condones teenage illicit sexual activity) are cropping up, and not necessarily on Christian websites. There seems to be a collective sense that some socially agreed-upon boundaries, elusive as they may be, are needed.

That unfortunately makes your kids the Guinea Pig Generation. Their kids will grow up with better social conventions regarding the use of technology, particularly in self-expression. For now, it's the Wild, Wild West.

[I hope to see you Wednesday night as Mark & Jan Foreman share on parenting. And look into The Harbor, our Wednesday night program that kicks off September 18, for more info on classes and groups that help families raise their 21st-century kid.]