Friday, July 26, 2013

Here's to your ordinary kid


The British royal baby came into the world this week. He will live a life unlike any child, ever. From the moment he was conceived – not born, but conceived – little George has been a celebrity. And while most of us dream of fame and might fantasize about being royalty, the lesson for us is actually the opposite: as you watch this child’s life unfold, rejoice in your ordinariness.

On Tuesday morning, as the world waited for him to emerge from the hospital, one commentator noted that when the baby’s father, Prince William, left the hospital, there were exactly two television cameras outside. This baby came out to a crowd full of would-be Internet journalists, each armed with an iPhone. Poor kid. We can only hope and expect that every royal baby burp and diaper change will soon become mundane, and the little prince will be given at least a couple years of non-attention in the public eye.

But that’s not likely. And why? Why such intense interest in this particular child, when millions of babies are born every day? William and Kate made some perfunctory remarks about the baby’s looks and hair and their own excitement, but as Kate said, “any family” would know what they were feeling.

On CNN, one commentator suggested that this birth – and this life – was special because it stands in opposition to so much going on in the world right now: child disease, abuse, genocide, crime. But that assumes two things. One is that this child will lead a model life – in fact, an extraordinary life – exempted from personal heartache, tragedy, and dysfunction and untouched by the brokenness of others. In other words, that he’ll live a truly fantasy life.

The other assumption is that all of the rest of us live in a world pretty close to the dismal one described by that CNN commentator. And that isn’t quite right, either. New births, first steps, first words, and a child’s discovery of the world around them is part of our everyday world – and these things are every bit as miraculous and wonder-filled as when they happen to someone whose name begins with “Prince”.

The disadvantage this prince will suffer is that the idyllic expectations of the whole world for childhood will be upon him. The perfectibility myth that our kids labor under (the one that never quite pans out) will be magnified in him. Consider that, years from now, when stories hit the Internet about the little prince failing a spelling test, or getting a black eye, or arguing with his siblings, or not taking his college studies seriously – events so common to our shared broken experience it’s amazing that they can ever be considered “news”.

Meanwhile, you and your kids live comparatively ordinary lives. And you can be thankful for that. No photographers will be waiting in your driveway when you leave tomorrow. No one will be holding your kid under a microscope, examining every move. Kids are not royalty: not princes, not princesses. Why anyone would wish that on a kid is beyond me.

Today, be thankful for your very ordinary kid. Celebrate the ordinary but profound things they do. Take heart in the fact that not everything is hopeless – and you didn’t need a royal baby’s birth to prove it. At the same time, make every effort to take them down off the pedestal reserved for royalty. Kids need room to live and to grow, to make mistakes and to learn life lessons. They don’t need us to be anxiously fixated on their growth, as the popular press will surely be fixated on George. They just need us to be faithful.