I could probably do a dozen dodgeball nights, where we invite kids, who hopefully invite their friends, where we'll hopefully meet them and be able to invite them to come to church, or at least show them that church is a non-threatening place. Then, it would take a while for the kid to get comfortable at church, to find a service and a leader and friends they liked, and a while longer for a leader to become invested in that child's life, to the point that they knew them beyond casually. Only then might we have won the access and right to speak into their lives, to have overt spiritual impact.
I could do all that; or I could spend one evening training the people who are the most willing, consistent, persistent influences in a child's life. Now you tell me: which is the better investment?
That reality helps explain why we're pouring into parents this fall. It has long been a goal to use our midweek program in part to free up parents specifically for this type of training. Whenever you train parents, what to do with the kids is always an issue, making Sunday morning classes tricky. Our Wednesday night series, Parenting 101, kicked off last Wednesday with a talk by Bill Farrell that left parents buzzing.
So when Tim Smith told us he could train parents and kids together, it was an idea we couldn't refuse. This Friday night, around tables in the Family Center, with dinner provided, Tim will show you how to have a family time that is spiritually nourishing. We'll bring the food, the materials, Tim, and the fun. You just bring the family.
Beyond the obvious goal of teaching parents how to do a family time, one of the goals of an event like this is to motivate them that they should and can. Many parents feel inadequate for the task of spiritual leadership. Maybe they were raised in non-Christian homes, or as part of churchgoing families that didn't speak of spiritual things in the home. Others feel that not having been discipled themselves, they wouldn't know what to do. Or, some may have tried family Bible studies or working through devotional books with their kids but been frustrated by the results.
If any of the above fit you, and it's kept you from attempting home-based spiritual instruction, let me offer this word of encouragement: you are a spiritual leader in your kids' eyes whether you feel like one or not. Your attitude toward spiritual things, spoken or unspoken, has not gone unnoticed. Your kids know what you value. Anything that comes out of your mouth regarding spiritual things will be given great weight because ordinarily parents' beliefs and values are given deference no matter what the subject. I'm convinced this is why political beliefs tend to stay stable within families through generations - it isn't because kids have been exposed to formalized, systematic indoctrination, but because little comments here and there, attitudes, and preferences are picked up and pieced together, and the parent's worldview gets adopted by the child.
Maybe an analogy would help. I was raised in a family of teachers. My dad taught high school and my mom taught 4th grade. Because of this, I automatically gave anyone who wore the label "teacher" a certain degree of respect, well into college. Teachers, in my mind, were always right, always competent, and always hardworking. How surprised was I to later hear my parents candidly assess former colleagues! It never dawned on me that they could have improved: in my eyes, they were all equally qualified and skilled.
In the same way, unless you have horribly mismanaged your parental authority, your kids hold what you say and do in high regard. "My mom says" or "My dad told me" carries great rhetorical force in Kid World - a decided argument ender. This is for no other reason than that you are Mom or Dad. (Savor this now, before they turn old enough to know everything!)
Every church's message to parents must be, "You can do it!" and in the same breath, "We can't!" Homes and churches are totally different spheres of influence. Yet, if we are properly concerned about the spiritual care and development of kids, those spheres should overlap just enough that we can lend some of our expertise on teaching and spiritual nurture to you. They will overlap Friday night, and we are eager to see you there.
Info, articles, and thoughts for parents of kids at North Coast Calvary Chapel.
