This week, by request, I am passing along a number of websites you can visit to help you stay current (that is, ahead of - if you want celebrity news, read People) on what's "out there" for kids to see and hear.
My niece, soon to be 3, sings this song she picked up at church: "Oh be careful, little eyes, what you see - Oh be careful, little eyes, what you see - For the Father up above is looking down in love - Oh be careful, little eyes, what you see." Of course, no three-year-old understands what that really means, how to train their eyes to shield their minds from harmful things. Instead, three-year-olds notice everything (fortunately, they don't comprehend it all). So her parents get the job of discerning what Molly's "little eyes" see, particularly during the times when her attention is captivated by electronic media.
Parents and other caregivers should be concerned about what is being taken in by their kids when they sit in front of screens - movie screens, TV screens, and computer screens. Not alarmed - concerned, as in, taking ownership of responsibility: "What my kids see is my concern." At a young age, there is a very real danger of screen media consumption stunting brain development. But for kids who are a little older (and even big people!), we are still right to be vigilant about what is being watched, because of its enduring impact.
Remember that every movie, song, show, poem, or whatever, contains a message. The message is bigger than the individual words spoken or images shown. The message is a statement about things that are real, true, beautiful, valuable, and so on. It is the message communicated through a piece of media that leaves an imprint, and that should concern us most. What are shows, movies, and music teaching our kids about family life, about honorable character qualities, about attitudes worth emulating, about who is good, about the meaning of life? What general view of the world is being communicated - safe? scary? basically having its act together? broken and in need of redemption? What, in short, is the "take away" from what they've seen and heard?
I'm now going to suggest a profound way to know: Ask Them! Develop the habit of asking one simple follow up question, the goal of which is to unearth the message as it was perceived by your child. The question is, "What did you learn about ___________ from that movie?" (or TV show, or CD, etc.) This is important: kids take away lots of different messages after they've sat through a presentation. Trust me - I know! Oftentimes what you intend for them to "get" is not what sunk in and stuck. So you have to ask the question, or you will end up trying to fight a problem that isn't there or remedy a misunderstanding that doesn't exist or you will miss the wrong impression that was formed.
Once you know, you begin to combat or confront these misperceptions. One Christian author, who I can't recall, plays "Spot the Lie" with his kids, where they watch a show or movie together and try to identify the lie that is perpetuated. Sometimes your response needs to be to ensure that the message stops getting through - that there is no reinforcement of the false idea. That's where the websites I suggest can help, because they give you heads up on content.
But make no mistake - it is ideas, not instances, that are far more dangerous to kids in terms of their lasting impact. Remember the Superbowl halftime show with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake and the "wardrobe malfunction", the partial nudity broadcast live to the world? I was doing high school ministry at the time and watched that game in the company of about a dozen high school boys. What was striking to me is that few of them were even paying attention - they were eating, wrestling, visiting - and that those who "saw it" were as confused as the rest of us, sort of like a "what just happened?" response. And then, it was over. Only it wasn't. More than four years later, the $550,000 indecency fine on CBS is still being fought over in court. Meanwhile, teens were regularly gathering between 2003 and 2007 to watch "The O.C." on Fox - a truly horrible show in terms of the message it communicated, but which never drew indecency fines and was never condemned in the way the halftime show was, apparently because they steered clear of exposing a breast for three seconds. Ridiculous. (And don't forget MTV's follow-up, "The Real O.C.", which was a reality-based series, further ensuring your kids that teenage TV life constitutes normal.)
It's been said that "art imitates life". But I'm not so sure. I think much of what is created for screens, that is necessarily dramatic and graphic and eye-catching and of course edited to 44 minutes, is a crude construction of reality - and it leaves behind a version of life that we, in turn, imitate. California has long been a cauldron of national culture. But now the nation is shrinking. What is broadcast via MTV and E! and even Disney is quickly and eagerly absorbed by the rest of the country, and then copied. We are creatures of habit and creatures of imitation. We learn to dress, talk, and react based on what we see. Don't underestimate the modeling influence that television and movie characters have. Raise your sights above the particular words they speak - those are the details - and discern the broader picture that is painted. Is it edifying? Is it admirable? Is it true?
I would urge you to use the websites below not primarily as a means of censorship, but to raise your own awareness, and, as with any resource I recommend, to equip you to open a dialogue with your kids about what they're watching. Don't assume that just because the only movies your kids watch are PG or free of offensive language they are free from the negative effects of media. Use television shows and movies to help kids understand the world. Learning and growth doesn't happen by keeping kids in the dark. It comes by processing through with them, at age-appropriate times, the issues of life.
Where to Find Info on Movies
Christian Film Producers
www.christianmovies.com
www.christianfilms.com
www.christiancinema.com
Reviews/Content Advisories:
Focus on the Family is at www.pluggedinonline.com
Also, the Internet Movie Database has a “Content Advisory for Parents” (under Additional Details) for most films: www.imbd.com
Dove Foundation gives its “seal of approval” to movies that meet its criteria. This tends to be more thematic-based than content-based (in other words, one or two swear words won’t automatically disqualify a movie if it has a wholesome message): www.dove.org
Dove’s reviews are here: www.christiancinema.com
Hollywood Jesus: www.hollywoodjesus.com
And: www.christianitytoday.com/movies
Another review site is www.screenit.com but it’s a subscription service. With all the free ones, why would you pay? I guess there’s no way to know until you actually put down the money.
Teaching Guides
www.teachwithmovies.org is a subscription site, $12/year for unlimited learning guides based on 285 movies.
http://www.christiancritic.com has some study guides as well as movie synopses
http://www.connieneal.com/discussion.htm TONS of questions meant to help kids explore spiritual themes and discuss the content of Harry Potter
Here are some discussion activities that can be used with clips of movies (if you don’t have time or don’t want to show the whole thing): www.thesource4ym.com/videoclips/
Info, articles, and thoughts for parents of kids at North Coast Calvary Chapel.
