When kids know all the Bible stories, is there reason to keep coming back to church? Over the last three weeks I've argued that there are three critical things that should happen for a kid at church, apart from the acquisition of knowledge, and particularly during the preteen years. First, kids need to develop a sense of belonging - finding their group. Second, they need to claim their identity as a Christian, and they won't do that if they perceive there's any baggage that accompanies that. The third thing that needs to happen as kids reach the end of elementary school is the connecting of the dots into a coherent whole, the cobbling together of a workable theology.
By "theology" I mean a version of the world in light of what you believe about God. Everyone has a theology, whether they know it or not. Pressed to articulate, nearly everybody could explain their understanding of who God is, how we works, what he wants, and what he's done. Even an atheist - who would answer those questions in the negative - has their worldview informed by the fact of God.
A young child's theology is very simplistic - and necessarily so. It's enough for young children to know that God created everything, that he loves them, that he cares for them, that he sent Jesus to the world, and that God wants us to be in heaven with him someday. We don't weigh three-year-olds down with matters of election or transubstantiation or the problem of evil or the nature of the Trinity.
But as kids grow, and their capacity for thinking and reasoning changes, their theology grows too - sometimes in wildly inaccurate directions. A healthy theology acknowledges their own status as created beings, subservient to the will and direction of the master, and we would hope that as kids grow in faith, they would embrace the realization that God's love for them doesn't necessarily mean he'll give them everything they want, but he will always provide for their good". In short, you want kids to develop a "theology" that's not a "me-ology".
It's not automatic. If it was, adults living in a world full of evil would reason their way toward God. In fact just the opposite happens. Grown-ups see evil and injustice, perhaps even in their own lives, and they conclude that a loving God is improbable, if not impossible. It doesn't help when health-and-wealth preachers teach people to equate "blessedness" with the value of their accumulated possessions. People who grow up with an entitlement mindset don't tend to shed that easily. It figures that when things go sour, the God who supposedly pulls the strings gets the blame.
We can fight this by diligently forming a theology that is true in kids. One way is to constantly ask them what they believe. This not only dignifies them (because what kid doesn't enjoy being asked their opinion by a grown-up?) but it brings the theologizing into the open, where it can be shaped and challenged.
Psychologists speak of "Aha!" moments, when sudden insight comes to the mind of someone who is deep in problem-solving. I more often experience "Duh" moments in my learning, when I have all the information in front of me but can't see how it fits together or makes sense (usually when I'm doing my taxes) - and then all of a sudden the realization hits: "Duh".
I think thinking theologically is more a case of "Duh" learning than "Aha!" learning. Kids don't need a novel understanding of God and his ways, but a sensible one, based on things they know to be true. So they know the Old Testament stories, of Abraham and Isaac, of Moses, of Saul and David and Jonathan, perhaps of Queen Esther, but what does it mean to them? Can they pull out any themes? Can they spot any patterns in how God works among his people? Can they piece some of Jesus' warnings and NT promises about what awaits those who follow him, and verbally paint a picture of what a Christian can expect life to be like? Can they begin to grasp how God's forgiveness works and what it means to have God's Spirit living inside you?
Kids can do this. It's work, but it's worthwhile. And - whether we're intentional about it or not - it will happen anyhow. That's an arresting thought. Somewhere along the line in your child's development, at least once, they will draw the conclusion that either God cares about them, or that he doesn't give a rip. They will cast into the future and see themselves either following him, or not. They will decide to preserve their uniqueness and acquiesce to God's call on their life, or they will give in and slouch toward the culture's low expectations. All of this will depend on what they honestly think about God.
Church researcher George Barna opines that every decision we make is, at heart, a spiritual decision. It reflects a choice for God, or against him. (See more in Barna's book, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions.) I think he might take that a bit far - some decisions are morally neutral, and others reflect a choice between good and better. But his point is well taken, especially as applied to the bigger decisions of life. And, as Barna recognizes, those decisions are informed by what we think about God. If we hate him, or even merely respect him, or grudgingly serve him, but we don't love him, we will not orient our lives in such a way as to glorify him.
And who wants to glorify God anyhow? No one. Left to our own devices, we are base, callous, and self-seeking. We fight for our own survival, and let every man fend for himself. It takes the invasion of God into our lives to turn that aircraft carrier, and gradually our eyes are opened ("Duh!") to the fact that we can live without ourselves in the center…and all will be ok. So the other way we can help kids fight the me-ology and embrace a theology is to give them tastes of what it is to "live beyond themselves." Living beyond yourself is having the experience of deliberately putting your own needs and comfort second so that others may be first, and in the process discovering…that it is really all ok. Of course, sometimes living beyond ourselves is not what we want to do, but we lean on God in faith and rather than strive, allow him to fuel our actions.
A warped theology is a tragic thing. Like the wrong prescription for eyeglasses, it causes a person to see God's hand in evil or misfortune. It can cause us to condemn all of the physical world, falsely believing that evil resides there. It withholds credit where credit is due, and fails to attach responsibility to its rightful source. Kids who think rightly about God enjoy the ancillary benefits of right thinking about themselves, their relationships, and their futures.
Not that any of this is easy. We are teaching kids to believe, and not just to know. That involves dialogue, lots of time and attention, and consistency. And ultimately, we will let them go. The first 18 years of a child's life is their time in harbor, when the ship is readied, fueled, inspected, systems tested, and is set on course. Eventually they depart to sail. When we help kids develop a strong theology we are showing them how to hold the map right side up and how to read it. And when kids possess strong navigational sense, we have every reason to be confident in their journeys.
By "theology" I mean a version of the world in light of what you believe about God. Everyone has a theology, whether they know it or not. Pressed to articulate, nearly everybody could explain their understanding of who God is, how we works, what he wants, and what he's done. Even an atheist - who would answer those questions in the negative - has their worldview informed by the fact of God.
A young child's theology is very simplistic - and necessarily so. It's enough for young children to know that God created everything, that he loves them, that he cares for them, that he sent Jesus to the world, and that God wants us to be in heaven with him someday. We don't weigh three-year-olds down with matters of election or transubstantiation or the problem of evil or the nature of the Trinity.
But as kids grow, and their capacity for thinking and reasoning changes, their theology grows too - sometimes in wildly inaccurate directions. A healthy theology acknowledges their own status as created beings, subservient to the will and direction of the master, and we would hope that as kids grow in faith, they would embrace the realization that God's love for them doesn't necessarily mean he'll give them everything they want, but he will always provide for their good". In short, you want kids to develop a "theology" that's not a "me-ology".
It's not automatic. If it was, adults living in a world full of evil would reason their way toward God. In fact just the opposite happens. Grown-ups see evil and injustice, perhaps even in their own lives, and they conclude that a loving God is improbable, if not impossible. It doesn't help when health-and-wealth preachers teach people to equate "blessedness" with the value of their accumulated possessions. People who grow up with an entitlement mindset don't tend to shed that easily. It figures that when things go sour, the God who supposedly pulls the strings gets the blame.
We can fight this by diligently forming a theology that is true in kids. One way is to constantly ask them what they believe. This not only dignifies them (because what kid doesn't enjoy being asked their opinion by a grown-up?) but it brings the theologizing into the open, where it can be shaped and challenged.
Psychologists speak of "Aha!" moments, when sudden insight comes to the mind of someone who is deep in problem-solving. I more often experience "Duh" moments in my learning, when I have all the information in front of me but can't see how it fits together or makes sense (usually when I'm doing my taxes) - and then all of a sudden the realization hits: "Duh".
I think thinking theologically is more a case of "Duh" learning than "Aha!" learning. Kids don't need a novel understanding of God and his ways, but a sensible one, based on things they know to be true. So they know the Old Testament stories, of Abraham and Isaac, of Moses, of Saul and David and Jonathan, perhaps of Queen Esther, but what does it mean to them? Can they pull out any themes? Can they spot any patterns in how God works among his people? Can they piece some of Jesus' warnings and NT promises about what awaits those who follow him, and verbally paint a picture of what a Christian can expect life to be like? Can they begin to grasp how God's forgiveness works and what it means to have God's Spirit living inside you?
Kids can do this. It's work, but it's worthwhile. And - whether we're intentional about it or not - it will happen anyhow. That's an arresting thought. Somewhere along the line in your child's development, at least once, they will draw the conclusion that either God cares about them, or that he doesn't give a rip. They will cast into the future and see themselves either following him, or not. They will decide to preserve their uniqueness and acquiesce to God's call on their life, or they will give in and slouch toward the culture's low expectations. All of this will depend on what they honestly think about God.
Church researcher George Barna opines that every decision we make is, at heart, a spiritual decision. It reflects a choice for God, or against him. (See more in Barna's book, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions.) I think he might take that a bit far - some decisions are morally neutral, and others reflect a choice between good and better. But his point is well taken, especially as applied to the bigger decisions of life. And, as Barna recognizes, those decisions are informed by what we think about God. If we hate him, or even merely respect him, or grudgingly serve him, but we don't love him, we will not orient our lives in such a way as to glorify him.
And who wants to glorify God anyhow? No one. Left to our own devices, we are base, callous, and self-seeking. We fight for our own survival, and let every man fend for himself. It takes the invasion of God into our lives to turn that aircraft carrier, and gradually our eyes are opened ("Duh!") to the fact that we can live without ourselves in the center…and all will be ok. So the other way we can help kids fight the me-ology and embrace a theology is to give them tastes of what it is to "live beyond themselves." Living beyond yourself is having the experience of deliberately putting your own needs and comfort second so that others may be first, and in the process discovering…that it is really all ok. Of course, sometimes living beyond ourselves is not what we want to do, but we lean on God in faith and rather than strive, allow him to fuel our actions.
A warped theology is a tragic thing. Like the wrong prescription for eyeglasses, it causes a person to see God's hand in evil or misfortune. It can cause us to condemn all of the physical world, falsely believing that evil resides there. It withholds credit where credit is due, and fails to attach responsibility to its rightful source. Kids who think rightly about God enjoy the ancillary benefits of right thinking about themselves, their relationships, and their futures.
Not that any of this is easy. We are teaching kids to believe, and not just to know. That involves dialogue, lots of time and attention, and consistency. And ultimately, we will let them go. The first 18 years of a child's life is their time in harbor, when the ship is readied, fueled, inspected, systems tested, and is set on course. Eventually they depart to sail. When we help kids develop a strong theology we are showing them how to hold the map right side up and how to read it. And when kids possess strong navigational sense, we have every reason to be confident in their journeys.
