A new year of our midweek program, STEAM, is about to begin. Once again this year we will meet form 6-7:30 Wednesday nights (the same time as the midweek program from age 4-3rd grade, KidZone) here at the church. in 90 minutes, kids get to "blow off STEAM" in a physical or art activity, and "take on STEAM" in an elective class. Here's what's up for electives this fall:
Beginner Guitar This class is for kids with some or no experience playing guitar. It will cover basic chords and rhythms in strumming. There is no charge, but you must bring a tuneable, acoustic guitar (no electrics) to the class. Class is for six weeks and then will be repeated with a different instructor the second six weeks, so kids are welcome to sign up for either or both sessions. We are limiting this class to 10, so pre-registration is highly recommended.
Acting Skills Workshop This is a non-competitive workshop on how to act. Projection, stage direction, using your body and developing characters will all be covered. This is a six-week class and will be repeated in identical form the second six weeks. There is no charge for this elective, but it is limited to 15 kids per session, so again pre-registration is advised.
PG-13 is a class designed for parents of older preteens who are just beginning or on the verge of adolescence. Answering a need to help sixth graders especially as they make the jump to middle school, this course will educate parents on how to adjust their parenting to give a young adolescent what he or she needs. The second 45 minutes, kids will be brought in to interact with their parents in exercises designed to stimulate conversations on values, friendships, communication, and conflict. For more information, pick up a separate PG-13 brochure and see last week's blog post. Cost is $30 per family (Mom or Dad or both may attend - and this is also an appropriate class for grandparents or others who are the primary guardians of a child). Offered only during the first six weeks.
The Gospel According to Mayberry Based on the same concept used in the adult Bible study called, "The Mayberry Bible Study", this is a Bible study adapted for kids that uses characters and scenes from The Andy Griffith Show. Episodes become modern-day parables and themes like friendship, honesty, and grace are drawn out and explored as they pertain to the characters' lives. A different study will happen each week. This is the elective to choose especially if you cannot make a six- or twelve-week commitment to any of the others, because the studies stand alone (rather than building on a previous week). No charge.
The Secret of Handling Money God's Way Wouldn't it have been great if someone had laid the groundwork for responsible money management with you before you got in over your head? Responsible spending, saving, and giving begins well before someone has lots of money, and that's the philosophy behind this study from Crown Financial Ministries. This is their adult course specially adapted for kids 8-12 years old. In it, kids follow the story of a group of friends who are saving money for summer camp, and a grandfather who helps them understand how to be stewards, rather than just consumers, of what God has given them. We've broken this 12-lesson study up into 24 bite-sized chunks. Lessons 1-3 will be offered weeks 1-6 this fall (and known as "Part 1"), while lessons 4-6 will happen weeks 7-12 this fall ("Part 2"), with lessons 7-12 being offered during the spring. Kids are welcome to sign up for any or all of Parts 1-4. There is a one-time fee of $15 for the book, which is used for all sessions.
Drawing Again this year we will offer the popular drawing elective, with a new instructional book, so kids who were in drawing last year are welcome to re-enroll this year. Using drawing to teach the Bible is deceptively simple: as kids focus on drawing the scene or character of the week, a story related to that is read aloud and discussed. And kids become quite good at what they're drawing! There is a one-time fee of $10 for materials.
Cooking In this class, kids make and bake and draw out spiritual lessons as they do so. Last year, for instance, they made pretzels and talked about how the forming process is like the idea that God is the potter, we are the clay. This class will be offered during the first six weeks and then repeated the second six weeks, so kids should sign up for one or the other. There is a $15 materials fee. Limited to 15 kids each session, so pre-registration is highly recommended.
Juggling Even kids with little coordination can learn to juggle, progressing from silk scarves to beanbags to tennis balls. Juggling improves eye-hand coordination and builds self-confidence - and draws a crowd. The difficulty of achieving "perfection" and the focus it requires makes for some great parallels about the gospel and walking in a saving relationship with God. $15 equipment fee, which includes a set of professional juggling beanbags that kids get to keep. This class is only offered during the second six weeks (October 28-December 9).
For parents during STEAM: Once again we will be offering some programs for parents as well during the 6-7:30 pm time window. In addition to PG-13, which is intended for parents of kids just entering or about to enter adolescence, a new class called "Positive Parenting" will be offered, in which parents will learn how to use language, encouragement, and positive reinforcement to promote desirable behaviors, and also how to discourage and eliminate negative ones. This class is designed to combat the tug-of-war and battle of wills between parents and kids and promote family harmony. It was launched successfully at a church in Orange County and now NCCC has been chosen as the program's first pilot site. Mothers and fathers are encouraged to attend together. Cost is $30 per person or $50 per couple for the six-week session (Sept. 16-Oct. 21).
Want to help at STEAM? In addition to hands-on help with the kids, we can always use more check-in and troubleshooting help, especially in the early weeks as kids don't always know where to go. Contact Joy Beidel if you want to help.
One more thing: Please keep your commitment to come to STEAM once you've signed up for an elective. Our program runs on the efforts of about 20 volunteers who generously give their time to invest in kids. Enrollment in some electives is limited, so if your child signs up but then doesn't come, they are taking a spot away from another child who could benefit. Please weigh this when signing up for electives.
Info, articles, and thoughts for parents of kids at North Coast Calvary Chapel.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Leading a Sixth Grader, Standing at the Side
The amount of variation within the 4th-6th grade age range is pretty vast. The problem isn't that we're comprised of three grades, really: even if we were only charged with ministering to one grade there would still be a gulf between the most mature and the least mature in the bunch. That's the nature of this age range, and it explains why 4th graders and 6th graders can be friends, but also why an 11-year-old boy can be content to ride his bike around one day, be talking with his friends about girls the next day, and be asking to go to Legoland the day after that!
In talking to parents, however, it has been noted again and again that a real change happens once kids hit sixth grade. Much of this is due to the fact that some school districts (not all) send their sixth graders up to middle schools. The new challenges of managing relationships with several different teachers, being a really small fish in a big pond, and encountering units on world religions in social studies make sixth grade a bridge year for many students. It was out of this reality that our newest class, "PG-13", was born.
PG-13 will be offered this fall on Wednesday nights. Borrowing a page from the successful Mother-Daughter class that happened last spring, the first half of the class time will be spent with parents only, while the second half will bring parents and kids together for activities and dialogue meant to raise awareness and prepare parents and kids - as a team - to navigate the sometimes rocky road of adolescence.
PG-13 is not a class about puberty. It's more about the consequences of the package of changes that come with adolescence - changes in friendships, family dynamics, moods, and values and goals. Our hope is to give parents and kids a chance to get real with one another, as well as start the journey of adolescence out on the right foot.
We start with the premise that the prevailing, stereotypical model of parent-teenager relationships is deficient. But, it's little wonder - if you go into parenting an adolescent expecting that they're going to end up hating you, you're likely to get just that. Does teenagerhood bring stressors and issues into the family that weren't there when kids were sweet six- and seven-year-olds? Sure. But we refuse to believe the parent-child relationship is destined for war. In fact, we'd better not believe that. Parents remain, through their child's adolescence, the most willing, consistent, and persistent influences in a child's life. It's just that the way they exercise that influence has to change. That's because a major developmental task (think of it as the "work") of adolescence is for a child to develop their distinct, individual identity and to exercise greater and greater degrees of autonomy, gradually owning more of his or her own life. So at the same time as parents retain the position of authority and Influencer-In-Chief, the one subjected to that influence and authority is preparing to find their own way.
So a major focus of PG-13 is teaching parents the art of leading their kids from the side, so that more and more responsibility is given away yet parents and kids remain close enough that love and guidance are readily dispensed, and received. The other paradox parents of teenagers work under is this one: great numbers of teenagers complain that their parents "don't understand them", yet for the parents' part, "He/She won't talk to me!" We untangle this by exploring the changes - physical, social, emotional, moral, and spiritual - that are common to all adolescents, at the same time recognizing that development follows no strict timetable in any given individual. Here's where techniques to show love and invest specifically in your child (starting with the 45 minute parent/child time, but not ending there) will lead down the road of knowing your child and how they're wired. We'll teach you how to be an encourager. We'll talk about dealing with moods and attitudes, since both can rear their ugly heads ferociously and sometimes for the first time in early adolescence (leaving you to wonder, "What happened to my kid?"). We'll talk about peer pressure and the changing nature of friendships as kids get older and how to communicate with each other in a way that solves problems rather than escalating them.
What can be accomplished in six, 90-minute sessions? While we acknowledge that it's only a start, and there are far more resources and topics that we could delve into than we have time for - still, well-begun is half done. If all that happens is that parents find a sympathetic ear in other parents who are also a little apprehensive about the brave new world of parenting a middle schooler, we will have done some good. If, on top of that, we can equip parents with some insights that help them understand young adolescents in general and their own child in particular, and they begin to get a grasp of what it is to lead from the side, that's even better. If we succeed in building some experiences that lead to a closer, deeper relationship between you and your pre-teen - better still. But if we can turn out a class of parents who get what it is to exercise constructive influence, so that they actually look forward to parenting teenagers, parents who become evangelists for the idea that we can replace the worn-out parent-teen model of alienation and conflict with a model of warmth, support, and engagement - well, now we're talkin'.
And please don't think that PG-13 is only for parents who are wading into the waters of parenting an adolescent for the very first time. If your sixth grader is a middle child or the youngest, you just might have the answer or be the resource that someone else in the room needs. Everyone can benefit from insight on things like being an active listener, or learning your child's love language, or handling someone else's strong emotions. PG-13 is for veterans as well as novices.
It's also not restricted just to sixth graders, even though the class emerged from discussions pertaining to their experience. Any kid in fourth or fifth grade may benefit, too, and there's nothing in the class that should make you squeamish - it's more a question of relevancy, and generally speaking, a fourth or fifth grader doesn't live in the same social dynamic as a sixth grader (particularly at school).
One more note: unlike the Mother-Daughter class, this class can work with parents and kids of opposite genders. Ideally moms and dads would both attend, but if schedules don't allow that, it's perfectly appropriate for a mom and son to attend together, or a dad and his daughter.
In coming weeks I'll detail in this space the other fall offerings on Wednesday nights, including another class on parenting for which NCCC has been chosen as a pilot site. It's a class I know is going to bring great relief to many households. And for 4th-6th graders, STEAM is about to re-start (September 16) with a slate of neat electives, some returning from last year and others brand new.
As I complete my second full year at the church and my third summer, I remain convinced that churches' support of parents and their growth is the key to kids' spiritual growth. PG-13 won't meet every need, but we hope it's a step in the right direction, something that dispels fears of middle school, strengthens the bond between you and your growing-up child, gives parents and kids the skills to deal with new challenges, and gives parents hope and the confidence that they need not fear adolescence. Rather, we hope they'll embrace it as a singular opportunity to work with kids who want to be treated as adults, aren't yet, but soon will be.
In talking to parents, however, it has been noted again and again that a real change happens once kids hit sixth grade. Much of this is due to the fact that some school districts (not all) send their sixth graders up to middle schools. The new challenges of managing relationships with several different teachers, being a really small fish in a big pond, and encountering units on world religions in social studies make sixth grade a bridge year for many students. It was out of this reality that our newest class, "PG-13", was born.
PG-13 will be offered this fall on Wednesday nights. Borrowing a page from the successful Mother-Daughter class that happened last spring, the first half of the class time will be spent with parents only, while the second half will bring parents and kids together for activities and dialogue meant to raise awareness and prepare parents and kids - as a team - to navigate the sometimes rocky road of adolescence.
PG-13 is not a class about puberty. It's more about the consequences of the package of changes that come with adolescence - changes in friendships, family dynamics, moods, and values and goals. Our hope is to give parents and kids a chance to get real with one another, as well as start the journey of adolescence out on the right foot.
We start with the premise that the prevailing, stereotypical model of parent-teenager relationships is deficient. But, it's little wonder - if you go into parenting an adolescent expecting that they're going to end up hating you, you're likely to get just that. Does teenagerhood bring stressors and issues into the family that weren't there when kids were sweet six- and seven-year-olds? Sure. But we refuse to believe the parent-child relationship is destined for war. In fact, we'd better not believe that. Parents remain, through their child's adolescence, the most willing, consistent, and persistent influences in a child's life. It's just that the way they exercise that influence has to change. That's because a major developmental task (think of it as the "work") of adolescence is for a child to develop their distinct, individual identity and to exercise greater and greater degrees of autonomy, gradually owning more of his or her own life. So at the same time as parents retain the position of authority and Influencer-In-Chief, the one subjected to that influence and authority is preparing to find their own way.
So a major focus of PG-13 is teaching parents the art of leading their kids from the side, so that more and more responsibility is given away yet parents and kids remain close enough that love and guidance are readily dispensed, and received. The other paradox parents of teenagers work under is this one: great numbers of teenagers complain that their parents "don't understand them", yet for the parents' part, "He/She won't talk to me!" We untangle this by exploring the changes - physical, social, emotional, moral, and spiritual - that are common to all adolescents, at the same time recognizing that development follows no strict timetable in any given individual. Here's where techniques to show love and invest specifically in your child (starting with the 45 minute parent/child time, but not ending there) will lead down the road of knowing your child and how they're wired. We'll teach you how to be an encourager. We'll talk about dealing with moods and attitudes, since both can rear their ugly heads ferociously and sometimes for the first time in early adolescence (leaving you to wonder, "What happened to my kid?"). We'll talk about peer pressure and the changing nature of friendships as kids get older and how to communicate with each other in a way that solves problems rather than escalating them.
What can be accomplished in six, 90-minute sessions? While we acknowledge that it's only a start, and there are far more resources and topics that we could delve into than we have time for - still, well-begun is half done. If all that happens is that parents find a sympathetic ear in other parents who are also a little apprehensive about the brave new world of parenting a middle schooler, we will have done some good. If, on top of that, we can equip parents with some insights that help them understand young adolescents in general and their own child in particular, and they begin to get a grasp of what it is to lead from the side, that's even better. If we succeed in building some experiences that lead to a closer, deeper relationship between you and your pre-teen - better still. But if we can turn out a class of parents who get what it is to exercise constructive influence, so that they actually look forward to parenting teenagers, parents who become evangelists for the idea that we can replace the worn-out parent-teen model of alienation and conflict with a model of warmth, support, and engagement - well, now we're talkin'.
And please don't think that PG-13 is only for parents who are wading into the waters of parenting an adolescent for the very first time. If your sixth grader is a middle child or the youngest, you just might have the answer or be the resource that someone else in the room needs. Everyone can benefit from insight on things like being an active listener, or learning your child's love language, or handling someone else's strong emotions. PG-13 is for veterans as well as novices.
It's also not restricted just to sixth graders, even though the class emerged from discussions pertaining to their experience. Any kid in fourth or fifth grade may benefit, too, and there's nothing in the class that should make you squeamish - it's more a question of relevancy, and generally speaking, a fourth or fifth grader doesn't live in the same social dynamic as a sixth grader (particularly at school).
One more note: unlike the Mother-Daughter class, this class can work with parents and kids of opposite genders. Ideally moms and dads would both attend, but if schedules don't allow that, it's perfectly appropriate for a mom and son to attend together, or a dad and his daughter.
In coming weeks I'll detail in this space the other fall offerings on Wednesday nights, including another class on parenting for which NCCC has been chosen as a pilot site. It's a class I know is going to bring great relief to many households. And for 4th-6th graders, STEAM is about to re-start (September 16) with a slate of neat electives, some returning from last year and others brand new.
As I complete my second full year at the church and my third summer, I remain convinced that churches' support of parents and their growth is the key to kids' spiritual growth. PG-13 won't meet every need, but we hope it's a step in the right direction, something that dispels fears of middle school, strengthens the bond between you and your growing-up child, gives parents and kids the skills to deal with new challenges, and gives parents hope and the confidence that they need not fear adolescence. Rather, we hope they'll embrace it as a singular opportunity to work with kids who want to be treated as adults, aren't yet, but soon will be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)