Last weekend was our church’s International Missions Fair.
Christians have learned a lot about doing missions in the last 200 years, and
much of that is how not to do
missions. We now know that it’s wrong and counterproductive to go into a
foreign culture and demand that they become just
like us.
We shouldn’t make the same mistake in ministering to kids.
White missionaries took Africa and Asia by storm and the
result was cultural resentment. We wrongly communicated that becoming Christian
meant becoming a Westerner (still a prevalent belief across the Arab world).
“Heathens” were told they needed to learn English and even dress like Europeans
– this was “becoming Christian”.
Of course, looking the part of a Christian and actually
being one are two different things. There’s a pretty funny scene in the
beginning of the Humphrey Bogart movie The
African Queen, showing an exasperated missionary, and Englishman, trying to
lead a congregation of native Africans in a hymn sing. They don’t understand
the words, it’s not relevant, and they’re prone to – and eager for –
distraction. When the service finally ends, they can’t wait to get out of there
and back to more interesting things.
I used to play that clip when training new volunteers, and have them look for all of the ways the tent meeting missed the mark. They were easy to see.
Now, here's the kicker: Kids inhabit a different culture, and to reach them, we must act like missionaries.
That's why Children's Ministry Value #5 is: Speaking kid language. Our job is to reach out to kids in relevant and
culturally-appropriate ways. Kids need to be allowed to be themselves
before we can push them beyond themselves.
Let's break that down:
- Speaking kid language. This includes verbal speaking, of course, but also non-verbal. Not only do we not use 1990s pop culture references in our teaching illustrations, but we sit on the floor with kids. Not only do we visit with them about their interests and hobbies, we play with them. Instead of praying in flowery language, we try to demonstrate that prayer is just talking to God.
- Reaching kids in relevant ways. It's not particularly helpful or effective to teach kids using adult-sized metaphors, subjecting them to I-was-down-and-out adult-style testimonies, or by giving a three-point sermon. These communication methods barely work well with adults! Instead, showing kids that God is relevant is a matter of listening to them and walking alongside them as they discover who God is. Being relevant with kids doesn't mean we preach a "me-centered" gospel. That's a real danger. It does mean that we teach that God has a really big story and that they - even they! - have a place in it.
- Kids need to be allowed to be themselves... This is a big one. Our ministries are not a free-for-all. There are rules, and there are structures. BUT - within those structures, we want kids to be themselves. Why? Because it's important that we understand where they're at. If a kid isn't standing and singing, we're not going to force them to. There's a reason they're opting out - what is it? When I ask a kid a question, I don't want them to give me the "just right" answer. I want them to answer honestly. Last year I was teaching a lesson on Creation to our Kindergarten & 1st graders. After I got to the part where "God saw all that he had made...and he said it was very good," a boy raised his hand and with a concerned look on his face asked, "Does that mean God even created earthquakes?" I love questions like that, and I love when our ministry creates safe spaces where kids feel they can ask them.
- ...before we can push them beyond themselves. If a kid can't ask "Did God even create earthquakes?" we miss the opportunity to get him to grapple with the magnitude of God, and his infinite wisdom. If a kid never has the opportunity to write, "I'm getting bullied at school" on a prayer wall, he may never think to bring that to God in prayer. If a girl doesn't share with a trusted leader that her parents are getting divorced, we miss the chance to walk alongside her as she wrestles with where God is in all of this. If kids aren't allowed to know about suffering in the world because their Christianity is all about knowing right answers and nothing more (and you MUST watch this hilarious and spot-on video about that very thing), they'll never be troubled by poverty, or injustice, and they'll never be spurred to consider what God might have them do.
All of this points to the need to go beyond "playing church" with kids. The native cultures who received missionaries in the 1800s and 1900s didn't need that, and kids don't need that either. They need people who will take them seriously, spiritually. They need adults who will start by listening to them, before dishing out a bunch of answers to questions kids aren't really asking. Who are they? What is happening in their lives that wasn't happening last week? What do they already know about God? What is their understanding of his plan, and their place in it? Good missionaries start with these questions. We should follow their example.
