"You can do it!" is not the good news

When I was a kid, we watched a film in school called "Free to Be You and Me." And yes, it's as '70s as that sounds. "Free to Be" was a project of the Ms. Foundation and debuted first on ABC. By the time we watched it, in the early '80s, its ideas were mainstream. The overall theme was that gender should not limit kids' dreams: you can achieve anything you set your mind to, regardless of if you're a boy or a girl. Maybe you saw it as a kid, too.

"Free to Be You and Me" contributed to a cultural ethos that still dominates American life today. The American Dream had long motivated people to be self-starters, driven by the dream of "making it" on their own. But for generations, it was out of reach of many. Racial integration, women's liberation, and the inclusion of mentally handicapped children in schools helped change that, and that's good. Racism has no place in the kingdom of God. Girls have benefited as traditionally male careers have become open to them. Kids with disabilities are visible and honored people in society.

But the belief that anyone can achieve anything also creates pressure. If I'm not successful at something, the cause must be me, right? And if I do succeed, it must also be a reflection on me. The only thing that stands in my way is belief in myself.

Therein lies the problem: how do you square confidence, self-initiative, and hard work with Jesus' demand that we lay down our lives to follow him, accepting his death as the sufficient - and only - means of reconciliation with God? It turns out that when it comes to being a Christian, inability is actually a strength. Because the first step in living a Christian life is a passive one (and by that I mean, not a work of my own): letting myself be loved by God. Day by day, I have to remind myself that I'm not the engine of my own faith - God is. That flies in the face of conventional thinking, which says that life is what you make of it.

We all want our kids to do well in life. So, we encourage them as much as possible. We get them private lessons, we rearrange our schedules to drive them to practices, we push them to get better, and we celebrate. (Although, this article suggests that the way you praise and encourage matters, a lot.)

But in the end, "You can do it!" is a pretty poor slogan for Christianity. It is not the good news. The good news is that through my weakness, in my brokenness, and in spite of my flaws, Christ shines brightly. If kids approach their Christianity the same way they approach their schoolwork, or a team tryout, or a play audition, or the SAT test, we end up with a group of strivers who will make great contributions in this lifetime, but never fully comprehend a relationship with God.

"What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" - Mark 8:36