Identity = Heart + Head

If A.W. Tozer was correct when he said that the most important thing about someone is what they think about God, then what we think about ourselves in light of that has to be a close second. Closing the gap between what people know is true of Christians in general and what they proudly claim to be true about themselves is a chief task of youth ministry. What's at stake? Surprisingly, much more than just that kids feel good about themselves.

Not that having young people feel good about themselves isn't a worthy goal in itself. We adults have tended to minimize adolescent angst as either A. something we all went through so it's no big deal, B. too dramatic and messy to pay attention to, or C. something we'd rather forget. The adolescent identity struggle is messy, and yes, teenagers tend to make mountains out of mole hills. But the emotional tension and hurt experienced as kids strive to answer the question, "Who am I?" is very real, and if the pain is not attended to there can be short-term danger; if the conflict is not successfully resolved, there can be lifelong ramifications.

We rightly ensure that our infants and preschoolers have the most advantages we can marshall, because intuitively we know that wellness today lays the groundwork for wholeness tomorrow. It's just that identity formation is so - complex, that we often throw in the towel, distressed but not surprised about the choices kids make as they try to find their way.

But we'd better care, or we're going to have a heap of trouble on our hands, individually and collectively. Last week in this space Karen Lucas-Howard wrote about her response to the identity crisis she observed in her own daughters, how despite her best pareting efforts to expose them to only healthy influences, the cultural messages about beauty and significance were seeping in. Karen decided on an affirmative strategy: she wrote a book, designed for moms and daughters to work through together as they grapple with some tough questions about who God says girls really are. By what seems like sheer providence, we discovered Karen and her work late last year, and on March 4 her six-week class "Just Who Do You Think You Are?" will debut at our midweek program. When girls don't know who they are, the price is paid in eating disorders, sexual promiscuity, substance abuse, low self-esteem, and body image issues that plague them well into adulthood.

This is reason enough to care that kids make a successful connection between what they've been taught in church and what they really believe in their hearts. But it goes deeper. I have long been convicted and motivated by the statistic that of kids who are active in church youth groups, fully two-thirds will walk away from the church by the time they are young adults. Now, the Barna Group has established that a majority of American kids who were raised in churches have left the church by the time they're 29. (And this should answer those who weren't worried about the post-high school exodus, who rationalized that "they'll come back when they're older". They're not coming back.) This finding needs to permeate and resonate within the entire church's consciousness - not just serve as an indictment of youth ministries.

When a majority of your church population has said no, I believe it's very hard for the Church to win them back; harder, perhaps than attracting those who have never believed. What is a church going to offer by way of teaching that they don't already know? A caring environment for kids - maybe, but families can stay home and have that. What will be the face of the American church shortly if the vast majority of adult attenders are new believers?

But the implications are broader than the national Church. Christianity Today notes in an editorial this month titled (ironically enough) "Who Do You Think You Are?", that ethnic conflict is flaring in areas of the world that also happen to be highly Christianized: Nigeria, Kenya (80% Christian), the Democratic Republic of the Congo (95%). How can this be? How can it be that "Christianity doesn't make a difference," according to Paul Robinson, a Wheaton College professor who was raised in the DRC? The answer boils down to identity. People have failed to internalize the Christian identity to the point that it trumps ethnic or national or political affiliations.

The implication for churches is huge: those that fail to push congregants across the finish line of fully embracing the Christian identity are failing in their work of discipleship. It shouldn't matter if failure means people are doing violence to each other or to one's self, it is a failure that damages the church's witness in the world and undersells the gospel. Churches (youth programs, especially) must go beyond transmitting a set of morals to young people and step into the much harder work of helping kids and teens develop a rich, thriving spirituality that has interior, interpersonal, and vocational dimensions. That's the point at which Christianity "sticks". And it's from there that we see real change.