Do You Really Want Your Kid to be Like Jesus?

Gary Oliver and H. Norman Wright published a book called "Raising Kids to Love Jesus" in 1999. In chapter 3, Norman Wright asks a provocative question: Do You Really Want Your Child to be Like Jesus? At first blush, the answer appears to be yes. After all - What Would Jesus Do? And Christlike attitudes and behaviors - aren't they the point of Christian parenting?

But what does "be like Jesus" really mean?

"If Jesus were here today, who would His followers be? We may not want to consider them. They would probably dress differently from those with whom we worship in church...

Do you know what you are asking your son or daughter to become? You are saying, "Don't fit in! Be different to the extent that others question you, wonder about you, shake their heads about you, aren't sure whether you'll make it in their group, their clique or their organization." You are asking your child to be a nonconformist to the status quo.

You may be uncomfortable reading this right now. Jesus was a man who looked at what was going on in the world - the society, everyday life around Him - and said, "This isn't good." He looked at the way people were living and essentially said, "That's the easy way to live. But it's not good." He confronted the destructiveness of people's lifestyles, which wasn't very popular with the establishment. He encouraged people to live a life that would be very different and contrary to the establishment. He also claimed that only a few would be willing to live that kind of life. Jesus called people to live a risky, different kind of life - one that promised peace, but a peace different from that which the world around us gives.

Do you know what Jesus preached? Nonconformity. He was different. Do you want your child to be seen the same way He was? Others saw Him as an eccentric, which is contrary to our desire for popularity and comfort. He was also seen as a heretic by the religious leaders of that time...

So do you want your child to be like Jesus? I'm sure you want your child to behave in a Christlike manner. We all do. But Jesus wants more than that. He wants us to have His mind in all of its fullness. We may be satisfied with behavioral change, but God wants a mind change. The mind has always been more important to God than our behavior." (H. Norman Wright and Gary Oliver, Raising Kids to Love Jesus, (c) 1999, pp. 41-43)

Compelling stuff. Here's why it matters.

Somewhere along the way, Jesus picked up an undeserved reputation as a mild-mannered lightweight. Gentle Jesus, meek and mild. But whether or not Jesus was Mr. Rogers to everyone he met isn't the important thing. What's important was his motivation. Jesus was determined to turn the world away from self and self-reliance, which is sin, to Him and Him-reliance.
Consider the words he spoke to people after personal encounters:

• "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."
• "Son, your sins are forgiven."
• "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."
• "Return home and tell how much God has done for you."
• "Woman, you are set free from your infirmity."
• "Rise and go; your faith has made you well."
• "Go now and leave your life of sin."

He may have been gentle in his approach to them, but his message was never, "Stay unchanged."

Part of "success" in spiritual training means discerning what direction God is moving, and then joining in step with that. If we try to push against or across the current, we are doomed to frustration.

Our direction is shown by our message. What direction do we perceive God is moving? What is that message?

• "Retreat"?
• "Be safe"?
• "Be nice"?
• "Seek comfort"?
• "Fit in"?

Are these "Christian values"? Who says so? I once heard someone tell a group of kids, "Jesus doesn't want us to be angry." Well, I'm not so sure. I think Jesus was plenty angry at some of the things he saw wrong in the world - and it motivated him.

As your kids grow up and discover the problem of homelessness, would you rather that they be angry and unsettled about it, or comfortable with it? When they learn that large numbers of elderly adults are homebound and never get visitors, do you want your kids to be bothered by that, or ok with it? If they hear that in some countries, educating girls is illegal or discouraged, do you want them to be spurred to action, or paralyzed by indifference?

What if we encouraged kids to understand the problems in their school or their community? Then they might appreciate the human predicament and how hard change is, instead of clinging to a shallow understanding that we can change ourselves by willpower. Seems pretty biblical to me. How about urging our kids to speak out against injustice, by standing up for kids who get bullied or excluded? How about taking your kids to "dangerous" places, where they might encounter the kinds of people society left behind? Surely these are the kinds of Christian values we want to instill, right?

If we aren't spending time and money preparing kids to advance into the world, but only to buy into the success-and-performance ethic of our culture, what are we actually asking them to follow?