One of the most common questions I get from parents regards how to get their kids to serve. The benefits of serving others are undeniable. At the very least, you walk away feeling fortunate to have what you have. But how do we build that into kids, whose worlds are so small?
I'm not a big fan of
schools compelling volunteer service hours as a condition of graduation, for a
number of reasons. Chief among them is the obvious: if they have to do it, it's
not volunteer. And when we do anything because we have to do it, it changes the
way we approach the work. I also don’t like the negative assumption buried in
the requirement, which is that given a choice, students won’t help out. To the
contrary, helping others has become somewhat en vogue. Kids and teenagers have done great things on behalf of
others, like this and this and this. Maybe we just needed to ask.
But another reason kids and
teenagers don’t serve is that they don’t know what opportunities are out there.
I’m an adult, and I’m still sometimes shocked about the level of need and the
kinds of need that are here, right on our doorstep in North County.
A number of years ago, a
group of moms who’d formed a Bible study decided they didn’t want to just sit
around and talk each week – they wanted to take action. This was the start of
what is now a 501(c)3 organization called “Girlfriends Care”. Naturally, they
brought their kids along on these service projects, and Girlfriends Care
quickly spawned Kidz Care, too. Ellen Clark has been quietly organizing service
opportunities for the last several years, and will e-mail me from time to time
about their latest project.
There’s so much I admire,
not just about what this group is doing, but in the way they’re going about it.
First of all, the opportunities to help are many, and varied. People have
different giftings, and some enjoy helping in one way but not others. Secondly,
they steer away from guilt in motivating people. As Ellen says in her latest
e-mail: “GFC was founded on the principles of no-guilt and supporting busy
people like you in balancing their lives as they find ways to give unto
others. Always an opportunity, never an obligation.”
The third reason I like
what they’re doing is that they’re flexible. As the kids involved have grown
older, they’ve recognized that the kids (now teenagers) need different
opportunities. I think too often in the church we insist that youth continue to
conform to the structures we’ve built, rather than recognizing that the face fo
their institutions will be different – and that’s ok. To this end, Girlfriends
Care has invited 13 other community service organizations to come out to an event this Saturday and set up booths, in hopes of finding willing volunteers to meet their
needs.
This effort is genuinely
unselfish, and as I said, there’s no guilt involved. You could bring your kids
to one event, or many. But the fourth reason I like Girlfriends Care’s efforts
is that it’s the heart of the organizers to be serving alongside kids in
whatever they do. So they don’t ask kids to get their hands dirty or to give
their time without being willing to do the same themselves. This is probably
the most effective way to encourage hearts of compassion: to be the change we
want to see.
Feelings aren’t contagious;
guilt and compulsion only appear to work. If we really want our kids to care,
it starts with them being aware that there are needs at all. Do your kids know
there are homeless children and teens in San Diego County? Are they aware of
what Bread of Life does? Have they heard the words, “Human Trafficking,” and
know that slavery isn’t just a Civil War-era relic?
It’s not that kids don’t
care. Kids care about all kinds of things. But we don’t tend to care about
things we don’t think about. It’s too easy to bury things that are troubling or
inconvenient. To draw them past the line of apathy means that we, ourselves,
need to be where those needs are.
Website for GirlfriendsCare (site is being rebuilt as of 9/1/12)
Website for Kidz Care &Teens Care They keep a calendar of events as well as descriptions of ongoing projects
here: book drives, food drives, clothing drives, etc.
Girlfriends Care Luncheon:
This Saturday, September 7, 11-1:30 in downtown Carlsbad. See details here.
Includes booths from 15 exhibitors. The event is designed to help potential
volunteers find places where they might want to serve. Kids, men, teenagers are
welcome – it’s not just an event for women.
