One of these markers is identity. What does it mean to be a Christian? And what does it mean when someone calls themselves a Christian? We asked the kids to write answers to those questions last weekend. Here's a sampling of what they said:
This was not a scientific sampling, so let me report these results by category and in terms of tendencies. Overall, kids gave answers that were largely doctrinally correct. Some of them defined "Christian" in terms of belief. For example:
Someone who believes in God.
Someone who believes that God is real and the savior. When someone calls themself a Christian it means they believe the Jesus loves them and died for them.
If you are a Christian you believe God is a real person.
It means that you believe in God and Jesus.
Somebody who believes Jesus is the son of God and he died on the cross for our sins.
It means that they believe in God, and that they won't worship the devil. A Christian person means that they worship only God.
Someone who BELIEVES that he (Jesus) is the only and only God and that God died on the cross for our sins.
A believer in the great Lord.
It means that they believe in God with all their heart but if they don't they lied.
Others defined "a Christian" in terms of religious practice:
It means that they asked God to their heart.
A Christian is someone who goes to church.
They're open to God. Talks to God when having problems. Goes to church. Prays.
Somebody who believes God exists and follows God's directions. Go to church and reads the Bible and prays.
Someone who loves and praises God.
A Christian is someone God invited to church.
Still others described "Christian" behaviorally:
A Christian is a person who walks with Christ.
It means they're living by God's word.
To live for God; give your life to God, follow his word with a joyful heart.
A Christian is someone who cares about everybody and follows the word of the Bible and is a born again Christian. If someone calls themselves "Christian" it means that they're caring and giving.
It means they have devoted their lives to God.
It means that you've committed to love God? I think?
If someone calls themselves a Christian it means they are loyal to God's word.
One who follows God and does as he would have you do.
Some combined belief & action:
It means that they believe in God and they are a follower.
Someone who serves God and knows about him and prays to him every day.
If a person says that they are a Christian it means that they have faith in God and study the Bible.
A Christian is someone who believes in God and tries to follow the Lord and do the best he can not to sin. (If someone calls themselves a Christian it means) that they believe and try to follow the Ten Commandments.
Someone who calls themself a Christian means they believe in God and read the Bible and tries to forgive and do what's right.
It means that you go to church and believe in Jesus. And read the Bible.
Someone who believes Jesus died on the cross to save us from sin. And loves others undiscriminately. And is slow to anger.
A Christian is somebody who gives all they have for God and believes that Jesus died for their sin.
A Christian is a believer in God who celebrates Jesus' death on the cross.
A Christian means to pray every day and listen to Christian music, and even to listen to God. It means that they are followers of Christ and they invited Jesus into their hearts.
To believe in God is to trust him in thick and thin. It's someone who cares about each other and they will only worship God.
That means they go to church and care about each other.
Someone who devotes their life to Christ and serves him. They believe that he died on the cross and believe in the Bible.
God is their savior. They believe Jesus died on the cross. Their sins have been forgiven. They try to follow his ways.
A few astutely noted that:
When someone calls themself a Christian they might not be.
I know a friend who does not act like Christian, and says that she is a Christian.
When people call themselves Christians, they may go to church, but they haven't accepted God.
As
you can see, the questions drew a range of responses, but there are some common
themes. Words like "believe" and "follow" showed up
frequently. There are also numerous references to loving, caring, and serving.
What’s
missing, though, is a sense of the supernatural. Kids mentioned a lot of doing,
but that in itself reflects an important belief about ourselves – that we are
able, by force of will, to follow Christ; God said it + we do it = Christian.
This isn’t surprising, as kids are conditioned to follow the instructions of
authority figures. Inherent in adult directives to kids is the belief that the
kid can actually do what is being asked. Only a sadistic grown up would demand
something kids were actually unable to do.
A
sense that we “do things” to follow God (even if the do is to simply “believe”)
makes God rather pedestrian. Which is not to suggest that the Christian life
ought to be passive, but it must bear the marks of a living, breathing
relationship. “Relationship” isn’t a word we’d expect kids this age to use, but
look at the list of responses above: how many of them reflect a oneness,
me-and-Jesus dynamic?
This
is all key to the identity of a Christian. As kids get older, they’ll interface
with lots of people who believe in God in different ways, who pray, who love
others, who are moral, and who try to do right. What will it mean for them to
consider themselves a Christian when they’re 13? When they’re 15? When they’re
18? And what does it mean now, as a nine, ten, or eleven-year-old? It’s one
thing to say, “I believe in God,” but it’s another to ground your identity in
that – and to keep it grounded there.
Fuller
Seminary professor Chap Clark says adolescents try on a number of identities
during middle school and high school. He calls them “multiple candles of
identity” and says kids commonly hold many at the same time. Adults are more
predictable. Society has a set of expectations for husbands
and wives, for mothers and fathers, for young adults vs. retirees, and so
blending in (by assuming that culturally-constructed identity) is pretty easy.
It’s not easy for adolescents, because they’re not one thing, but many. And of
course our hope is that the anchor of all the identities they sample is that of
being a Christian.
How
does this happen? How do people – specifically early and middle adolescents –
come to adopt a Christian identity that goes beyond merely doing things –
showing up at church, praying, believing in God – and touches every part of
their life? (Or, from God’s perspective: what is happening when a person stops
compartmentalizing life and allows God to infuse every aspect?)
First,
kids need to see Christianity in action. And by that I actually don’t mean going on missions trips,
watching adults serve at soup kitchens, or learning how to sit through adult church.
I mean they need to witness actual Christians living real, everyday lives. Only
then will they get exposed to what happens when a Christian man or woman
suffers disappointment, gets frustrated, loses a job, has a health crisis,
deals with difficult people, or makes big decisions. And conversely, they will witness
the “good news” stuff of life too: how does a mature Christian celebrate
successes, and discover and use their gifts, and steward their money, and
socialize, and enjoy life? Of course, this will first come from what they see
in their parents, but who else can kids look to for this important shaping?
About
a year ago, I found myself experiencing a paradigm shift when it comes to
mentoring and discipleship. Usually we only realize gradually that our minds
have changed, but I was in the moment when I realized, “Hey – what I’m seeing
right now is something I’ve never thought of before.” A group of us – myself, a
4th-6th grade volunteer, three high school seniors, and
one high school freshman – were out to lunch, when it dawned on me that this
was a viable and hugely influential discipleship model. The freshman was
observing (and absorbing) the behavior patterns of people who already were what
he himself was becoming. He was getting a glimpse of his future self! Normally
we reverse it – one older leader is put in charge of many younger charges to
lead and mold. But here, the teachers were the many, and the student was the
one. And there was nothing formal going on, just life. Do you think he was
shaped by what he was immersed in that day? I sure think so.
We
humans are creatures of habit and imitation. That’s one reason children’s and
youth ministry is so rewarding: kids are eager for people who care enough to
show them the way: the way to act, the way to talk, the way to conduct
themselves – the way to be. And so
modeling takes on huge importance when it comes to kids adopting and owning the
identity of a Christian.
That’s
why kids must know a variety of older
Christians, because as they begin to “try on” identities as young teenagers –
“Am I like this? Or am I like that? Do I like this, or that?” – we want them to
have a frame of reference for what “a Christian” is and does. It’s not just
someone who believes in God, or goes to church, or does good. It’s closer to
the answers above that cited “following God” or “being devoted to God” – but what does that mean, outside of a church
context? That’s the crucial question for kids in forging an identity that is
grounded in Christ.
Knowledge
and understanding are first steps; actually caring enough to live it out is the
second step. Every youth pastor can tell you stories of kids who were unchurched
or on the fringes of a youth group, and as soon as an adult volunteer began
investing in them, modeling what it is to be a Christian, they came alive.
Others have seen poor modeling, and rejected it. And others sit on the fence.
I’ll write about nurturing allegiance – the third marker – in two weeks.
In
short, then, identity – owning the fact that “I am a Christian” and being able
to distinguish what that means – is a huge marker that something spiritual is
going on. And defining Christianity in terms of identity is a different thing
for a 14-year-old than it is for a ten-year-old. Which means this is a question
that must be continually faced and an understanding that must be continually
honed as kids grow up.
