Something new is coming to Wednesday nights at NCCC. It's called The Harbor, and I think it's going to be a hit. More than that, though, I think it's good ministry.
The two aren't the same. In church ministry, we can get hooked on the new, the trending, or the popular - but that doesn't mean it's great ministry. To me, good ministry satisfies two conditions: it maximizes its impact during the event itself (small group, large group, off-site event, or whatever), and, that impact spills over beyond the event. It's great to hear when people say they were touched or changed by something that happened at an event. But when they continue to be changed - that's how you know you've hit on something with power.
To me, events or classes that we can do with parents and kids together - actually interacting in a purposeful way, and then reflecting on it - are #1. This is what we try to do in the "What's the Story?" class (which returns in early 2013) and in PG-13, the class for early adolescents and parents. The second most powerful is giving parents the tools to disciple and lead their kids, or simply to become healthier themselves.
The Harbor fits that second class. When we decided to try a family-focused midweek program, we discovered that there is no shortage of classes and studies out there to help parents. And we're pretty excited to see the interest level so far. Not that the kid program takes a back seat, either. This has been a season of dreaming and envisioning the possible...and now it's time to roll it out.
Here are some features of The Harbor that we think will be especially attractive to you:
1. The Family Meal. We recognized that on many Wednesday nights, kids were coming to the midweek program without having eaten dinner - no time! So we'll be serving a family-style meal at 5:30 pm, which will give parents one less thing they have to take care of that night.
2. The Family Meal. Yes, I repeat myself! The second benefit to the family meal is that families get a chance to connect with each other. Our church draws from a vast area; many cities, many schools. And we know it's hard to know others and be known...unless you are able to slow down. When we're able to slow down (which we always do during a meal), we tend to get beyond the surface questions and to a place of meaningful conversation.
3. The Homework/Quiet Room. We also recognized that having homework kept kids away some nights from the midweek program. So, we're setting aside one room just for that, and it'll be staffed by volunteers who can help out. Or, if kids want to bring a book and just read for part or all of the night, that's ok too.
4. The flexibility of the kids' program. In the past, we had kids sign up for six-week electives. This made it hard to bring a friend, because electives could fill and it wasn't easy to begin midway through the six weeks. We've changed this so it'll be possible to jump in at any time.
5. Kids get to make choices. Let me explain why this is a benefit. If we want kids to make good choices when faced with big important decisions, we need to give them practice at making decisions, period. Learning to make up your mind is part of growing up, and not until kids have skill in doing this will they really take over their own spiritual lives and grow. "You mean, even choosing something like the game they want to play makes a difference?" That's exactly what I mean. When kids are trusted to make choices of all shapes and sizes, they come to understand that the choices they make matter - that life doesn't "just happen" to them. We need to reinforce this wherever possible. So the kids' program is full of choice. 4th-6th graders will start all together, but then have a 30 minute block of hands-on learning activities and a 30 minute block of games.
6. Kids get to make choices - part two. When kids try many different things, they discover what they like and don't like. They discover what they're good at. They develop hobbies, which causes them to meet others with similar interests. Trying new things is part of healthy development. Our hope is that kids will want to try all of the activities. We suspect, of course, that they'll latch on to the couple they really like, which is ok too.
7. Parents will meet and share with other parents. We chose the classes we did because each has a different focus and is intended for different groups of parents. "Hope and Help for the Single Mom" is of course for single moms, while "Raising a Modern-Day Knight" is meant for dads who have sons. Jeff Reinke's "Parenting from the Heart" will feature his insights on shaping the heart of your child and connecting with them at a deeper level (and look for special sessions with Archibald Hart and Sharon May as part of that class, too), while "Raising Kids With a Faith that Lasts" is specifically about guiding your kids' spiritual development. Of course, the content of the presentations is helpful - but the added benefit (this is the part that "spills over" outside of class) is that parents develop a support network of other parents.
8. Big church becomes small. We're a big church. Sitting in weekend services in the midst of a large crowd can be very cool. But everyone needs to be known. Christians need a network of other Christians. There are many ministries in the church that try to make this happen. The Harbor will be one of them.
Will we see you on September 19? I hope so. Visit this page for registration.
Info, articles, and thoughts for parents of kids at North Coast Calvary Chapel.
